Broken
by Car-Car.Shil.23
Summary: All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you are. RATED M FOR SELF HARM AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE (Depressed Marinette)
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: So before we start let me tell you a little about the story. So Marinette is super depressed and something happened months before all of it started. Adrien has both his parents and lives a happy life. Marinette gets Plagg instead of Tikki, and Adrien gets Tikki instead of Plagg. That's about it for now. I'm also gonna start each chapter with a different quote… mostly something related to what that chapter is about. I also update really slowly because of school work and work work… so yea sorry but I have had this idea for a while and I still need to update other stories which I'm working on. I've had this one in progress for a full month. Anyways it's not like anyone is gonna read this but if you did I want to thank you for checking out my stories. I am revising this story so it might not make sense in this next chapter until I revise it.)

* * *

All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you are. -Robbins William

* * *

Broken. That's what I am. That's what I will ever be.

Useless. That's who I am. That's all I will ever be.

Fake Smile. That's all I'll show you. That's all you'll ever see.

Dull Eyes. That's what I don't want you to see, but that's something I can't hide.

Red Eyes. That's what I try to hide with make up, but it's something that can't be easily hidden.

I'm Fine. No I'm not.

I'm dying inside.

Those scars on my arm? You know they aren't what I say they are, you know I'm lying, yet you don't say anything.

I fake a smile.

Yes I do.

I'm dying.

Yes I am.

I'm useless.

Yes I am.

I'm Broken…

Yes I am.

* * *

I hear my alarm clock go off and sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I get up outta bed and start getting dressed in a pair of blue light-washed jeans that stops at my ankles, some black and white high tops and a black long-sleeved shirt that has my school's name on the front. I go downstairs and greet my adoptive mother with a smile. She says 'good morning' and I respond with a hum. I pull my sleeves down, feeling self conscious. You need to be perfect, my brain tells me. You can't afford to break in front of your friends, they don't know. But someone does! I argue back to the voice inside my head. You think he cares. I hear with a menacing laugh. No one cares about your sorry ass. I grunt and walk to the school. I find Alya waiting with the boys by the steps. She quickly notices my approaching figure and waves her arms. As I walk closer she comes up and hugs me.

"Hey girl, how'd you sleep?"

"Hey," I say with a small forced smile, "I slept fine thanks."

"So what's up?"

"Nothing much just lots of homework and sewing." I say, my smile falling a little at the lie.

"Mari? You okay, you look upset..." Alya asks looking in my face and holding me by my shoulders.

My facade falls a little. Lie. "I'm fine." That's not enough! Screams the voice in my head. Just let me escape this on my own. I argue. "Don't worry about me, we're gonna be late if we don't get going soon." I say shrugging her off and walking up the steps. She just stays there, confused. Even your own supposedly best friend won't follow you. She's just shocked. Adrien and Nino go up to her both asking if I'm okay.

"She said she's fine but I don't believe her. She's been saying that for the past 8 months."

"I'm sure she would tell us if something was wrong with her." Nino says. Adrien looks at me and silently asks if I'm okay. I look him in the eyes and that's all of an answer he needs I walk away and towards my class. Adrien follows me. I slide into my seat and I feel him slide in next to me, we were the only people in the room. I start to feel tears prickle my eyes and I try to blink them away. I have been crying a lot more lately, for no apparent reason, It might just be me overthinking things to where I start zoning out and crying. I do it all the time. I just need to toughen up. I feel bad for shrugging off Alya like that. My life is such a mess right now. It wasn't like this when I was younger, before my parents disappeared before I was adopted, before I had anxiety before everything. I was smiley, happy, bubbly Marinette, but then something bad happened.

Flashback

"No Dad! Stop!" I cry, begging my father to stop, but he doesn't listen. I cry hard. I tried stopping him, I really did! He wouldn't listen to me. Why won't he listen to me! He shouldn't have done this! Mom's gone because of him and he's gone because he couldn't bare with the pain of what he's done. He left me and he hurt mom. Why did they have to fight in the first place! Why didn't I try harder to stop them?

End Flashback

"-ette. Marinette!" I jump out of my chair effectively taking me out from my thoughts and whip my head up. I flush in embarrassment, Adrien is sitting next to me with a look of concern on his face. I shrug him off.

"I've been calling your name for the past 2 minutes. Please pay attention in my class." Ms. Bustier says a hint of concern in her voice. She looks into my eyes and I give her my 'I'm fine just need some time' look. She gives me an 'it's okay if you wanna go home look'

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay then, let's get back to class." As class continued, my thoughts kept racing. Blankly staring out into space. The bell rings and I jump out of my chair and down the hall. I'm going home. I can't stay. I have been staying at my adoptive mothers house but she is out during the day. I raced through the door after unlocking it. I go into my room and up the stairs to my bed. I jump onto it and curl in a ball. I start crying almost immediately. Why did my life have to be like this? Why did Dad die? Why did Mom die? Why do the people I love the most leave? These questions run through my brain. I get back up deciding to take away my pain. I go into the bathroom to find my razor that I use to cut. I sit on the floor and stare at my arms, I bring the razor over my skin and press down, quickly swiping it across. The blood bubbles and the pain feels exhilarating. I watch as the blood trails down my arms and pools at the end of my elbow. I cut 5 more lines, not deep enough to cut a vein but deep enough to feel the pain and leave the scars. These scars will be a reminder of everything I have been through. Now I know what you're gonna say, "Self harming is a horrible thing to do." or "Stop doing that, you're just looking for attention." Well here is what I have to say to that. No one, but my adoptive mother and Adrien knows that my parents are dead. She was there when it happened, and, she was the one that took hold of me and let me cry in her shoulder. Adrien knows from me, he saw me in a moment of weakness and I told him everything. Alya, who is my best friend, doesn't know what really happened to my parents. Only Adrien knows just how depressed I actually am, but I try to hide everything and the cutting? It helps. You wouldn't understand unless you've done it. Whether you have done it or you are currently it doesn't matter. It takes a lot of mental pain to take that pain and turn it into physical pain. Once I feel satisfied that I have given myself enough pain, I decide to run a bath and wash my cuts before bandaging them. As the water fills up I peel off my clothes and slowly step into it, I feel myself relax slightly, my muscles finally feeling less tense. I sink into the tub until I'm fully underneath the water. As I washed my fresh cuts, still feeling the sting from the pain, the water turns a light pink color. There isn't enough blood to make it a crimson red. I quickly wash my hair, cuts and body. I feel refreshed as I get out of the tub. I start shivering right away, I quickly walk over to my door where my towel is. I wrap it around me and drain the water. I walk to my mirror and open it up, searching for my little tin box full of medical supplies, whenever I need to bandage my cuts. When I finish I walk into my room and start getting dressed into nice comfortable pajamas. My phone buzzes and I pick it up. 5 missed calls and 4 new text messages, all from Adrien.

Adrien :)

Sent 10:47am Hope you're okay Mare.

Sent 10:57am You can talk to me...

Sent 11:39am I got your homework.

Sent 12:20pm I'm here when you're ready.

Oh god he's super worried, but I just need to be alone right now. I don't… I can't. I can't have him find out just what I did. He would be so upset. I ponder this in the silence of the house and decide to play some music while I do what little of today's homework I actually have, to get my mind off of this. I like being alone in the house, when I'm alone I can scream all I want and I have the privacy that I need when I feel the need to cut. Although I don't like sleeping in my room ever since the nightmares started. It started when my parents left. The feeling of being completely and utterly alone taking over me, scared me so much. Now I don't mind it but I still get nightmares from the day they left. I'd wake up covered in sweat with tears rolling down my face. So I stopped sleeping in my room every now and then I would sleep in the living room. I don't feel like sleeping in my room and I know mom will be worried, I am preparing to grab my blanket and comforter since I decided to do my homework downstairs, while watching a movie, when I see a black box just resting there. I open it and a green light appears when the light vanished a black cat looking thing is yawning.

"What are you?" The black thing looks at me.

"Hi, I'm Plagg. Do you have any cheese Marinette?"

I'm confused for a moment before I pick him up and bring him downstairs.

"We've got cheese bread, camembert, and more."

"Cheese heaven!" Plagg screams. I give a little smile. Plagg turns to me and frowns. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Umm what are you?" I ask questionally, like how can this thing fly and what exactly is he?

"I'm a kwami. I'll be giving you your super powers."

"Super powers?"

"Yes." And so this creature gives me a long speech about being a superhero.

"Okay, so my miraculous is a ring that I always wear?"

"Basically."

"And my special power is Cataclysm?"

"Yep!"

"All you eat is cheese to replenish your energy?" I question.

"I love ma cheese."

"Okay. "

"Also when you need to transform all you have to do is say 'Plagg claws out.' and to detransform is 'Claws in.' "

"Okay" I smile and give a yawn feeling my eyes start to droop.

"It looks like you're tired. You should go to bed."

"I was planning on doing homework but, I think that's a good idea, do you want me to make you a little bed or something?"

"I'll just sleep on one of your pillows, don't worry about me."

"Okay, goodnight Plagg."

"Goodnight Mari."

I turn to go upstairs, back to the main floor, after grabbing everything while Plagg flies behind me. I fall onto the couch and snuggle in my blankets, as I felt Plagg land on my pillow I give him a small smile and pull him a little closer, but not close enough that he can't get comfy. I close my eyes letting sleep take me over.

Meanwhile with Adrien

"I'm home!" I called out to the bustling house. I hear my mom shout back a 'welcome home' before she comes out to greet me with a hug and smile. I hug her back and head up to my room. I have to finish my homework and distract myself from Mari. She never came second period and I got worried, she wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls and I'm afraid of just what exactly she did when she got home. When she first started at our school she was nervous and didn't talk much. She made friends with Alya, Nino and me. But she didn't open up much. The only reason she opened up to me was because I helped her in her moment of weakness. I held her and let her cry on my shoulder, a little while after that I had realized that I fell in love with her. Now whenever she needs to cry and be held she comes to me, but today she didn't. She just sat there and stared into space. I'm worried, but all that worry vanished when I walked into my room. Right away I could tell something was off. I set down my bag and looked around, there on the table in front of my TV was a little black box, I opened it and out came a blinding pink light and a flying genie of some sort. I was perplexed.

"What are you?" I ask myself.

"My name is Tikki and I am a kwami. It's like a god." And this little flying creature continued to explain what was happening. I was silent the whole time. "And that's everything." Tikki said in her sweet voice.

"Okay, let me get this straight, I am a superhero. And these earrings are what gives me my superhero powers?"

"Yup, you have to keep them on at all times or else I won't be here. As long as you wear the earrings I will be with you. Also do you have any cookies?"

"Yeah, here I'll go grab some, you can go ahead and make yourself comfortable." I say as I grab the cookies from the kitchen, everything is turning into something new. When I get back to my room I decide to text Mari once again.

Sent 3:37 pm Hey Mare, I hope you're okay, please tell me if you need anything. You know I'm always here for you. I got your homework from the rest of the school day since you never came back. I think I already said this. Anyways… text back when you can. :)

Satisfied with my message I decided to finish my homework from today.

Back With Mari

It's been a few hours and I can't seem to fall asleep. My phone buzzes again, this time from both Alya and Adrien. I read Alya's first.

Sent 3:38pm Alya: Are you sick or something, you never returned to class…

Sent 3:38pm Mari: I'm fine now, I just wasn't feeling well. Sorry I left so suddenly.

Sent 3:39 pm Alya: It's okay girl, I was just worried.

Sent 3:39 pm Mari: I'm fine, but thanks for being there for me.

I then text Adrien back.

Sent 3:37 pm Adrien: Hey Mare, I hope you're okay, please tell me if you need anything. You know I'm always here for you. I got your homework from the rest of the school day since you never came back. I think I already said this. Anyways… text back when you can. :)

Sent 3:40 pm Mari: No I'm not okay, do you think you could come over for a bit and hang out. I just need some support right now. Thanks for getting my homework…

Sent 3:40 pm Adrien: I'm on my way right now. I'll be there in a few minutes.

Sent 3:40 pm Mari: Okay, thank you.

I sit there and stare off into space, then I decide to wake Plagg up since he can't be known about to other people, other than me. I ask him to go to my room so I can have some time alone with Adrien. He takes some cheese with him and heads upstairs to my room. I then think of my cuts and how disappointed Adrien is going to be. I sigh and head back to the couch. A few minutes later the door swings open and Adrien comes in with a worried look. His eyes search the house until they fall on me. He closes the door and slowly walks over . He sits next to me and pulls me into his arms. I hiss when he touches my wrists but other than that I don't make a sound. After a few minutes we shift into a more comfortable position, he lies down and I lie in his arms, feeling safe and secure. I finally fell asleep in his arms. Feeling calm, the thoughts inside my head finally calm down and let me rest, feeling my sense of security and safeness. I know the thoughts inside my head will start again when he leaves but this moment of peace is just what I needed.

* * *

Place your hand over your heart, feel that? That's called PURPOSE. Don't forget it. -Anonymous


	2. Chapter 2

Before I start this I want you to know I'm gonna finish this before finishing my other stories.

* * *

"It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew."

\- Anonymous

* * *

He's gone. I won't ever see him again. And that hurts. It hurts so much.

* * *

The next morning, I get up and take a shower. Plagg is still asleep on my pillow when I come back out. I poke him lightly.

"Plagg. It's time to get up. I have to go to school."

"Nooooo!" He whined.

"You can sleep in my bag and I can give some cheese." I try motivating him.

"Okay." He says and flies into my bag.

"Okay let's get going." I say after putting cheese in my bag.

"Yeah if we don't now, your gonna be late."

"Oh crap." I run downstairs and close the door, locking it and running to school. "Late late, I'm so LATE!" Even if I'm having a hard time, I'm normally on time to school. My thoughts are racing as I run into the classroom. Alya notices me and shakes her head. Some things never change. Of course she's disappointed in you. You're never gonna be enough. Why won't you just give up. You never let people in, like there's a cage around your heart. Heck you even got over Adrien of all people. Why are you still here? I'm standing there in the doorway, with a far away look. I'm just overthinking things. I snap back to reality and head over to my seat. Alya looks at me weird. I take my seat and wait for roll call.

With Adrien and Tikki

"Adrien! It's time to wake up!" I exclaim. Oh god if he doesn't wake up now, he will be late to school. "Adrien! You're gonna be late!?" Gosh how can he sleep like a rock! Okay next best thing. I smile before going over to him and take a deep breath. I… blow in his ear. He jumps up and out of bed.

"Tikki! What was that for!"

"You have 10 minutes before school starts." I say calmly.

"What! Oh no I'm gonna be late!" He says as he speeds to his closet and takes a fast shower. "Okay I have 5 minutes before school starts and I live 10 minutes away, but if I run I can get there in about 4 minutes. Lets go Tikki!" He says as he pulls his shoes on and throws his bag over his shoulder. I laugh and go into his jacket pocket. He runs all the way to school and makes it into the classroom just as the bell rings. His hair is a mess and still slightly wet but mostly dry and his clothes are wrinkled but at least he is wearing clothes. "Adrien, it's great you could join us." Ms Bustier says. He blushes and moves to his seat.

Marinette's POV

"Adrien, it's great you could join us." I lift my head up out of my arms. Oh great Adrien is here. I thought he was busy this morning. I don't know if I can face him or anyone, maybe I shouldn't have come today. I put my head back into my hands. Maybe it isn't a good idea, my cuts still sting from last night. I think I'll just go home and say I'm not feeling well. Yeah that sounds believable. I'll get my work and do it at home. As I'm thinking this I hear my name being called.

"Marinette!" Alya exclaims.

"What?" I groan.

"What is with you today. You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm fine, just not feeling too good. I think I'm gonna go home." I say while getting up and out of my seat.

"Oh well I hope you feel better." She says, dejectedly.

"Yeah me too. I guess I'll see you later." I say and walk out of class. I grab all of my work and go back home.

"Why would you wanna leave school?" Plagg asks.

I sigh before responding. "There's something you should know about me." Then I proceeded to tell him my story. Or my life. When I was finished Plagg was silent. Then he flew to me and hugged my cheek. He snuggle in my collarbone.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You should have never been through that. You're so bright. From the short time I've known you I can tell that you make everyone else's day brighter, but no one saw through your fake smile. I'm so sorry Marinette."

"It's okay Plagg. I'm fine. I'll be fine." I'm always fine, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I need help but I'm too scared to ask for it. At least I have Plagg. As long as I have him…

I'll be fine.

* * *

"My heart is not brave or big. It is not cruel either. It is not strong at all. I keep it within this iron cage for a reason. Breathe on it wrong and I will die... Just go now. I would rather let you see my face, than my heart."

― Rebecca Ashe

(A/N: I'm sorry for the short chapter but I thought I should end it here and start a new chapter. I'm also hurt. (I hurt my knee somehow) so I am stuck to bed. I'll get the next chapter out relatively soon.)


	3. Chapter 3

I was listening to the song You Say by Lauren Daigle, please listen to this. I'm also horrible at writing battles so I'm just not going to write any. You can use your imagination.

* * *

"Sometimes you gotta pretend everything is okay."

-Anonymous

* * *

Pretending you are okay is one way of showing people that you are strong even though everything just tears you apart.

* * *

(Time Skip: 1 year)

(During this one year, Marinette's depression has gotten worse and she often cuts, almost every night. Her mom came back for a couple days then mysteriously disappeared. Adrien has fallen in love with Lady Chat and Marinette, he is conflicted between the two. Plagg has taken a liking to Marinette and cares deeply for her. Tikki loves living with Adrien, she couldn't imagine her life without Adrien.)

There's this saying that says, People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long. To me this means tears is a sign of strength, that no matter how difficult and how painful everything is, after crying you still manage to stand up and hold on. Depression and loneliness is a mental illness that can result in people feeling sad, even at unnecessary times. Which happens a lot, more than you might think. Anyone can have depression. No matter the age. Some people may think you are over exaggerating. Me, well I used to never feel this way. But I had lost someone so special to me. Someone who could always make me smile. Now I don't want to smile because then all I think about is him. It's no ones fault but mine. I begged him not to go, but he did anyway, and now I'm so broken.

(Tikki POV)

School had ended and there was an akuma attack. I was exhausted so I have been sleeping in Adrien's bag when I had been woken up by Plagg's familiar aura.

"Plagg?" I whisper so Adrien won't hear me. I hear the teacher talking and I look around. Trying to find where I think Plagg is. I poke my head out and take a deep breath. There he is poking his head out from a light pink purse embroidered with flowers. He waved me over and I quickly flew over to him.

"Hey Tikki." Plagg whispers in my ear, so that way we aren't disrupting the class. Plagg only calls me by my name when something is wrong, normally his name for me is Sugarcube.

"What's wrong Plagg?" I ask. His smile falters for a second.

"It's my charge." He mumbles.

"What's wrong?"

"She's really depressed and there are so many scars all over her body. I know it's only been a year but I feel a strong connection with her. I can't lose this one Tikki. But I have no idea how long she has left before she cuts too deep." He says all in one breath. "I'm so worried."

"Oh Plagg. There is no reason to worry. She'll be fine, they always are."

"She lost her dad and her mom abandoned her. She's alone. The others had people to support them. She only has me. Her eyes are so dull and she puts on this smile that fools everyone. But not me. She manages a house by herself, and she says I'm fine but she's not fine. She needs someone to be there for her."

"Let my charge help."

"How could he help. Tikki, she doesn't want to reveal their identities. She's scared."

"Don't they have patrol tonight?" He nods. "Then have them talk it out. Talk to her and ask her if she would talk to her partner."

"I'll try." He says.

"Good. Now I have to get back to Adrien." I say as I give him a hug.

"Okay, please come back soon." He whispers as he hugs me back.

"I will." I say and leave, heading back into Adriens bag. Minutes later the bell rings, signaling that it's time to go home. I feel Adrien pull his bag over his shoulder. When we get home I'll talk to him but that won't be for another few hours, in the meantime I will take a nap.

(Plagg POV)

Tikki just left from Marinette's purse. I'm thinking about what I can do to help Mari. I care so much about her and I don't want to lose her. The bell rings and Marinette gets up from her seat. She walks out of the school and into her home. As soon as she closes the door I pop out of her bag with my arms crossed and a serious expression.

"Tikki visited." I say. She looks at me.

"Who's Tikki."

"The Man Bugs kwami." Over the year no one knew what to call the male superhero clad in black and red. Mari giggles. People had started calling him Punaise and it kinda stuck.

"Manbug? Seriously Plagg. What did you guys talk about?"

"You."

"Why me?"

"I'm worried about you, and I know that you can't trust anyone but I'm begging you please talk to at least that Manbug."

"Why?"

"Because I don't wanna lose you. You mean too much to me, so please talk to him tonight while you guys are on patrol."

"Plagg…"

"Please!"

"Fine."

"Thank you." I say flying over to her shoulder and resting on it. I hug her cheek. "I can't lose you too."

"I love you Plagg, you are my only friend."

"I love you too Mare, and I don't like seeing you in so much pain."

"I'll talk to him."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

(Tikki POV)

Adrien just got home, and was pushed into the dining hall to get dinner. He was already late as it was because the photographer was late to his shoot. Those dumb photographers. I still haven't talked to Adrien about Lady Chat's problem. I can do that later when he is doing his homework. Right now he is at dinner and that will take about an hour, so I guess I'm stuck waiting.

1 Hour Later

It has been an hour, Adrien should being coming back to his room. It is 7:30 pm. Patrol doesn't start till 8:30. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and a voice say, "I'll be in my room doing homework, goodnight." Oh that's Adrien. He is such a smart kid, I honestly don't know how we can help Marinette. The door opens and closes, then a click sound, meaning he has locked the door. I fly up to Adrien, ready to tell him everything.

"Adrien?" Adrien looks up to me.

"Yes, Tikki?"

" Plagg talked to me today."

"Who's Plagg?"

"Lady Chat's kwami."

"Oh. What did he say?"

"He's… worried about her. She lost both her dad and her mom abandoned her after that. She's been cutting and really depressed. He wants you to talk to her, to be there for her."

"Oh my gosh. Of course I will talk to her." He says, a look of worry and concern crossing his face. "I want to help her." I fly over to Adrien.

"Me too. Adrien me too." I whisper while hugging his cheek. I had tears in my eyes. I don't know how much longer Marinette has before she does something irrational.

Skip To Patrol (Marinette's POV)

I was sitting on the edge of the Eiffel Tower. I had already done my rounds for patrol, now I am just waiting for Punaise. I sigh and look down. I am on the highest beam. I think about jumping but before I do, my sharpen senses pick up the sound of Punaise landing behind me. He comes up to me and hugs me. I gasp and turn around.

"Punaise what are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug."

"Why?"

He sighs before answering. "My kwami told me…"

"Oh. So you know?"

"Yea. I know. And I'm here, so please stop trying to shut me out. I'm worried about you and so is Plagg. I.. I love you. So please don't leave me. I need you. We aren't the fantastic duo without you." He says, tears on the brim. I give a little smile before I break down and cry in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Punaise. I just, I can't deal with all of the pain. I have nobody! My mom left me and my dad died because of me. I told him not to go! I told him to stay but he wouldn't listen. I've felt this way for longer than a year, and nobody thought to reach out. Nobody would look past my facade. No one cares."

"I care. I care so much about you Kitty. Please listen to my words. Please stop crying. I'm here, I'm always here. I'm not leaving. I will never leave. Please look at me." He pleads. I look up and into his eyes. Tears falling down my cheeks.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving. Trust me. I love you." As he said that he pulled me into a chaste kiss. "Lean on me." And I do as he says, we spent the rest of the night just holding each other and never letting go. Is this my turning point? Will life get better? Will I be better? Little did I know this was just the beginning of my long, long recovery.

* * *

"You're scared to tell people how much it hurts, so you keep it all to yourself. Eventually these emotions bottle up so much to the point you think you will break."

-Me

(A/N: I'm sorry for the wait, currently I, myself am struggling with self harm. I was three months clean when a day came that I broke my promise to my parents. I can't go back now so now I have more scars on my arms... btw if anyone can give me a good idea for Adriens superhero name please tell me for now I'm just gonna name him punaise. Which supposedly means male bug as well as Lovebug in French, I used Google Translate. Lol I'm not very creative with names)


	4. Chapter 4

"Sometimes all you need to do is just sit and cry. Cry until you can no longer cry anymore. Let out all of your feelings. It's okay to cry."

-Me

* * *

A lot of people think crying is a weakness, but in reality crying makes you stronger. Just because you're crying doesn't make you weak. If you're told that crying is a weakness, I'm telling you it's not. It's a natural thing to do when you tend to bottle up all of your feelings.

* * *

I got home late that night, not aware of my surroundings. I just flopped on bed after releasing my transformation. I was worn out from all of the crying. I fell asleep right away. I woke up the next morning with the sun shining through my balcony window. I groaned and got up. For once I didn't cut. I walked to the shower and relaxed. I started crying, all of my bottled up feelings coming out in my sobs. I get out of the shower wrapping myself up in a towel. I walk out and grab some black jeans and a white hoodie. I pull my hair into a bun on the top of my head. I put some socks and shoes on, grabbing my keys and sketchbook. I grab a small bag and place my items in the bag, as I swing it over my shoulder I look over to Plagg.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." He says as he grabs some cheese and zooms into my bun. As I walked out of the bakery, I locked the doors and quickly ran across the street. What I didn't see was the car zooming right through the red light. Next thing I know I'm laying on the ground with barely any air going into my lungs.

"Are you okay Mari?"

"No. I'm not." I breathe. Why the hell didn't I look where I was going. This was my last thought before my broken and bruised body fell into darkness.

Tikki (POV)

I was sitting next to Adrien, when I felt Plagg's aura become even more negative than usual. I felt his concern and anger. Confused, I called out to him. _Plagg_?

_Tikki_?

_Are you okay?_

_I'm fine. But not so much for my charge._

_What happened._

_She was going out for a walk when a car hit her.._

_Oh no! Is she okay?_

_No. No she isn't._

_Well school is about to start so we can try and find you then._

_I don't think anyone will notice that she's not in class.._

_I'm coming over._

_Tikki, what about your charge?_

_I can just tell him that you are hurt and I can come by._

_Okay._

I silently fly over to Adrien. "Adrien, I need to go somewhere."

"Where?" He asked, confused.

"It's about Plagg and his charge. Something happened and I need to go."

He stands up, "Not without me."

"Adrien. Please. She's hurt and she probably can't move properly or trust anyone. So please just trust me."

"I'm not letting you leave alone. I understand she can't trust anyone but if she is hurt then wouldn't she need someone. Someone to stand by her?" I sigh.

"Let me ask Plagg." I once again reach out to Plagg.

_Plagg_?

_Yes_?

_Can my charge come too? He won't let me go alone, saying that she needs someone she can trust._

_I guess. She isn't waking up and her body is bleeding and bruised. I can't do anything. She was hurt and I couldn't do anything. That guy just hit her._

_We are on our way. _With that said I turn to Adrien and give him a slight nod. His face brightens up just slightly.

"I hope you know that you are finding out Lady Chat's identity. She's badly hurt."

"I know. Let's go." He says rushing downstairs. "I'm leaving!" He yells out.

"Stay safe!" His mother says.

"I will." He responds and walks out of the door. "Where to?"

"The Dupain-Cheng Bakery." I hold my breath for his answer. He stops in his place.

"Hold up. You telling me Marinette has been Lady Chat this entire time?" He asks, astonished, and keeps walking.

"Yup."

"And now she's hurt. Do you know what happened?"

"She… was hit by a car." I whisper.

"What!" He shrieks.

"I'm not joking and we need to get to her fast."

"Okay." He says before he's sprinting to our destination. As soon as we are there I see Plagg flying around frantically in the bakery part. He sees us and motions us to follow him. We follow him to an alleyway, Marinette is sitting up slightly and barely breathing.

"Marinette!" She opens her eyes slightly.

"Tikki?" She says, questionaly before passing out again.

"Oh god. This is bad, this is so bad!" Adrien comes up to her. One look at her and his face pales.

"She needs to get to the hospital right away." He exclaims.

* * *

"Smiling has always been easier than explaining why you're sad."

-Anonymous

(A/N: So yea. That wasn't what I had in mind but I think this is good? I don't know. I'm kinda still dealing with my own problems at the moment. But I will try my very best to get another chapter out. And a huge announcement. I'm looking for a beta. I think it would be a good idea, and if you want to beta my work please message me and I will try my hardest to get back to you. I myself am a beta-er and I've only had one person reach out to me. I use google docs to write my stories and just copy and paste. I am also trying to get longer and better chapters. This chapter is 970 words long. Have a great day and please, favorite, follow and review!)


	5. Chapter 5

(Quick note it will always start in Marinette's POV)

* * *

"_It's always worse than it seems."_

_-Anonymous_

* * *

The situation may seem horrible, but really, I'm fine.

* * *

Black. That's all I see. Pain. That's all I feel emotionally. I hear soft sniffles and feel something soft in the curve of my neck. Probably Plagg. I try to open my eyes but a blinding white light hits me, I groan and close them. _Wait. White lights? _I take a deep breath. _Oh. I'm in the hospital. Definitely that stale chemically smell._ I open my eyes once again and once again I'm blinded but I stubbornly keep them open and look around. I see someone sitting in a chair in the corner. I narrow my eyes. Is that… Adrien? I open my mouth to speak but then a red kwami looking thing flies up to me with wide worried eyes.

"Oh it's so good that you are awake. You had both me and Plagg worried sick!" The thing exclaimed in a rather feminine voice.

"Do.. I.. know you?" I say slowly trying to find my voice.

"Oh I'm sorry, my name is Tikki and I am Punaise's kwami."

"Oh, uh where is Plagg?"

"I'm here kitten."

"Oh Plagg. What happened?" I asked, in the corner of my eye I saw the person from the chair move from the chair and to my side.

"You were hit by a car, I found you passed out one the side of the road along with Tikki."

"Oh… wow. Wait, Adrien you are Punaise?" I say slowly, processing what had happened.

"Uh yea."

"Oh." With that I try to sit up and I feel excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. "What… what happened exactly?"

"When you hit the car, you went flying back and landed on you stomach"

"That explains the horrid pain. Anything else I need to know?"

"There are officers who would like to talk with you and I have some questions myself."

"Okay, ask away." I wave my hand. I just want to get this over with and done.

"Do you remember what he looked like?"

"I remember his brown hair and brown eyes, they were cold and ruthless. He was wearing a black shirt and he was wearing glasses. " I shudder and hug myself.

"You don't have to say anymore, just get some rest." He says while standing up.

"Adrien?" I say.

"Hmm?"

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't, I'll just get some food you're probably hungry." Right after he said that my stomach growled.

"Yea I guess I am." I say with a slight giggle.

"I'll be back."

"Okay." He opened the door and walked out closing it behind him. I sigh and lie down again. I for once feel safe, kind of. Maybe this isn't so bad.

A few minutes later Adrien cam back with two trays of food. I take a deep breath and sigh. "That sure smells good!" I give him my best manageable smile before digging into the food in front of me. As soon as I was done I felt better. I looked down at my hands and smiled. "Thank you for staying Adrien."

"It's no problem Mari, although I do have to get home soon. The nurses said that you will be released tonight and I can be back for you then if you like."

"Please do, I don't really want to go home right now."

"Okay I'll be back in a couple of hours, for now get some rest." He says and kisses my forehead. (You know as like a friendly kiss, gosh I don't even know where I am going with this.) With that I fall asleep peacefully waiting to be in the comfort of my own home.

* * *

"_The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality. "_

_-Anonymous_

(A/N: I'm sorry that it is really short, I've been working my butt off lately ever since school ended and I haven't had any days off. But I have worked over 70 hours in about 8 days, although I haven't gotten much sleep. Tomorrow is my first day off since school ended, and yay I'm officially a Sophomore! Anyways I will try to get two chapters out tomorrow but I make no promises.)


	6. Chapter 6

"_Wanting to be happy is not the worst thing in the world, but wanting it badly enough to make us depressed is."_

_-Anonymous_

* * *

I wake up a couple hours later. Sitting up, I look around and notice that everything is cleaner than it was earlier. I swing my feet over the side of the bed, then the door swings open, I whip my head around and see that it's only Adrien.

"Oh hey." I say with a small wave.

"Hey, you okay."

"I'm fine." I say with a little smile, that definitely shows I'm lying.

"Tell me again how you really feel when your ready. Now let's get going. I'm taking you to my house tonight."

"Ok." And with that we left the hospital.

* * *

" I feel like I don't belong here, like I'm messed up, defective." I say after some time. I'm currently sitting in Adriens car, he's giving me a ride home.

"You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective, it just means you're human." Adrien says to me.

"Then why do I feel so bad, why do I feel so _broken_."

"That's because you haven't had the right people to show you just how much you mean to the world, whether it be just being there for someone or spreading happiness with the people around you. Mari, life would be so boring without you. You just need hope that you can work through this with the right people to surround you by."

"Living with hope is like rubbing up against a cheese grater. It keeps taking slices off you until there's so little left you just crumble."

"Mari, think about how others would feel with you gone. They would be devastated."

"Then why do I feel worthless and a waste of space why do I cut myse-"

"Hold on! You cut yourself?"

I let out a deep breath. "Yes I did. I haven't in a few days. And it feels weird to not since I have been cutting for 3 years."

"3 years?! Why?"

"Life. Pain. Everything."

"Wow, there's so much I don't know about you."

"There's so much you don't want to know. I have… lets just say I have a rough past and I tend to guard myself from everyone. I hide away and live my life in fear every single day. I don't feel safe anywhere. Honestly I don't know what to do. Its like this saying I know, _she can paint a pretty picture but this story has a twist. The paintbrush is a razor and her canvas is her wrist. _It's dark and deep but it's so… me. It's hard to understand when you don't know me."

"But I want to know you. You just won't let me in."

"Adrien…" I say, turning to look at him, "It's going to take months god maybe years for me to open up to you."

"I'll wait as long as you need me to."

"What if you leave too?" I whisper, already being reminded of a memory that I've tried to forget.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Dad! Mom! " little five-year-old me screamed. "Please don't go!" They turned to me and frowned, turning back around and walking away. I ran after them and jumped on them but was thrown to the side. I hit the side of a building and instantly blacked out. I woke up in the hospital 3 months later. Turned out the impact damaged a part of my brain ultimately putting me in a coma and forgetting who I was but not my past, just my name and how old I was and my favorite things like that. I gained my memory back after a few months, those months were not great._

_FLASHBACK ENDS_

I shudder and take a deep breath. "Adrien… when I was a child, I lost my memory for a few months."

"Why?"

"My parents abandoned me and when I wouldn't let go they threw me into the side of a building."  
"Oh my god, Marinette how come you haven't told me this?"

"Because I'm slowly opening up, you'll be finding out about a lot of things."

He sighed, "We're here." I look out the window and see a beautiful mansion in front of me. I get out of the car and follow Adrien into the mansion. He brings me to his room, gives me one of his shirts and points in the direction of the bathroom. After I'm done with my shower I put the shirt I was given on, it goes down to my knees so I walk out and crawl into the bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow I fall asleep.

* * *

" _You know the thing is, people who don't have a mental disorder just doesn't get it."_

_-Anonymous_

(A/N:Wow, school is starting soon and I have a trip coming up in just TWO DAYS! Oh my gosh I can't wait, sorry that I've been inactive I was in the hospital for a reason that I'm not saying to the world but if you know me then you would know why. Anyways I will try my hardest to keep updating this story and finish all of my stories before I start anymore stories. I'm sorry it's short... bye!)


	7. Chapter 7

"_Your not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness."_

_-Anonymous_

* * *

The next morning I wake up in a soft and cozy place. _It's… warm? _I opened my eyes to see a face full of blonde hair. I slowly sit up and look around. _Where am I? _I give it some thought before last night suddenly becomes very clear. _I'm in Adrien's house… I'm in Adrien's room… I'm sharing a bed with ADRIEN?!_ I scramble out of the bed and then realize I'm only wearing a shirt that doesn't quite hide everything since it had ridden up throughout the night. I squeak and run to the bathroom. I find my clothes from yesterday and change into them, poking my head out I see that Adrien is still asleep. Slowly I walk out of his room and to the kitchen, I find a pen and paper writing a little note for Adrien and grab an apple and some camembert for Plagg. Now dear readers I think I should explain a little as to what is happening and how I now Tikki. You see, I met Tikki when I was younger, after my parents abandoned me. She explained that we would be getting our miraculous soon, I originally was supposed to get the Ladybug miraculous but I had changed in the time I was away from her, so I instead got the Black Cat miraculous. Plagg's energy is negative and Tikki's is positive. I wasn't positive enough for my original position so I got the opposite one. Alright now back to what is happening. I sneakily walked out the front door and started walking back home. On my way there Plagg had climbed up and sat on my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Mari?"

"I'm fine." I say while tears are slowly streaming down my face. "I can take so much, till I've had enough. Why am I this way Plagg, why can't I be normal." I sob into my hands. Shaking uncontrollably.

_Back With Adrien_

I wake up to an empty bed. At first I thought she would just be in the bathroom taking a shower or something but I didn't hear the shower running so I decided to check the kitchen. As soon as I had gotten downstairs I see Tikki staring at a piece of paper on the counter. I walk over to her.

"Tikki, what's wrong?"

"She left."

"What?"

"Marinette left, and she wrote this note." I look over at Tikki then finally noticed some writing on the piece of paper, with neatly handwriting, it said:

_Dear Adrien,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I don't really think it's a good idea to be crashing at your place when I could go home. I'm sorry I left without waking you, but you looked so peaceful so I just let you sleep. I hope your not mad but I'm on my way home as you read this letter._

_With Love,_

_Marinette_

I put the paper down and go back to my room. I get dressed then walk out my front door. Following the path to Marinette's house I close my eyes and breath in the fresh air.

_With Marinette_

I got home about an hour ago. I had instantly climbed into bed and fell asleep, but first I locked my trap door. I was woken up by Adrien. I sat up quickly, feeling light headed I groaned.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." I smile my fake smile.

"I'm fine, now can I sleep peacefully."

"Please stop pretending in front of me. Besides we have school in like an hour. We've already missed all of our morning classes."

"WHAT?! What day is it!"

"Uh Monday. September 21st."

"I'll get ready for school then, you can leave now."

"I'll wait for you downstairs."

"Do whatever." I say with a little smile. I quickly change clothes and head down stairs. "So we ready to go?"

"Definetly." As we head downstairs, I lock my door and head outside, towards the school. "Why are we going when we already missed half the day?"

"Because it's the right thing to do."

"Look Adrien, I don't care about school. All that happens is getting bullied for being the messed up girl. They stare at my arms when i have to roll up my sleeves. I can't bring myself to do this, again why are we doing this?"

"Look Mari, you can't keep avoiding people, you're going to have to deal with it, but this time you won't be alone."

"No matter how many people I surround myself with, I'll always be alone. People often judge how someone is dealing with a pain you have never experienced. So please don't judge how I am dealing with this pain that you have never experienced. You don't know me. You aren't going to know me, unless I trust you. I'm so tired of being taken for granted. I'm tired of being used. You don't know my past. You don't know what I went through. I'm tired of living. What's stopping me from taking my life? I'm scared of dying, but I'm also scared of living! I'm scared of never being enough. I'm scared that the friends I make are going to leave me. I'm afraid of getting too close. The last time I got to close I ended up getting hurt. Goddammit! I'm afraid of being around people! Of making friends! Of having a family! Of falling in love!" My breathing has come to shallow gasps of air. Sobs rack my body and I let the tears that are about to fall, just fall. I feel arms encasing me and holding me.

"I'm scared Adrien. I don't know what to do." We slide down until we are sitting on the ground. He just holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay. It just makes me sob harder because, no everything is not going to be okay. Everything is fucked up and I don't know how to fix it. I've tried by staying closed off, but look how that turned out. I'm broken, and there is no way to fix me. There's nothing, that anybody can do to help me come back to being the Marinette I used to be. There's nothing. I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I'm ugly. I can't do anything right. Why can't I do anything right. Why can't I be prettier, skinnier? Why can't I be the old Marinette. Why do I have to be so...

BROKEN

* * *

" _Yeah, she's smiling but don't let that fool you, look in her eyes. She's breaking _inside."

_-Anonymous_

(A/N: So sorry about the wait, I've been busy and have picked up so more shifts at work because bills are sky rocketing. And it was my birthday last month… I'm officially 16! Dang I feel so old. So let me clarify about the last scene of this chapter… so Mari feels she's not really worth having around and Adrien is trying to help her, but it isn't really working with the way her mind works. They were just about to walk into school when she finally broke down into sobs. So yeah. I kinda put what I've been feeling lately into my writing. I'll get another chapter out within the month, but I make no promises. Bye!)


	8. Chapter 8

"_You knew exactly what you were doing, that is what hurts the most."_

_-Anonymous_

* * *

I leaned against Adrien and sighed. I'm tired of being worthless. I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything right. I'm so tired of living, but I'm so scared of dying. I care too much. I care so much that I don't want anyone else to get hurt, so I keep my feelings bottled up. And never tell a soul about how I truly feel. I care about everyone else's feelings more than my own. So I don't care if I'm hurting or faking my smile as long as everyone else is happy, I'll be okay. People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is wearing all black. But people are wrong. Depression is like constantly feeling numb. Like no matter what happens around you, you don't notice because your numb to your feelings, to everything, to the world. Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increase the burden. It is easier to say, "My tooth is aching" than to say "My heart is broken".

"Are you okay Mari?" Adrien says. I sigh and turn my head into his shoulder.

"I'm supposed to say that I'm okay, that's what the nice girl is supposed to say. but in truth I'm not! I'm not okay. I haven't been okay for a long time now. I need the warmth of love of feeling loved. I need someone to tell me it's going to be okay. I need someone to hold me and never let me go. I need a family to support me. I need to be loved." I say while crying into his shoulder. "Both my parents are gone. My best friend left me for someone else. She watched me crumble and fall apart but she didn't do anything about it, she just let it happen. I live alone. I've been cutting for such a long time. I've thought of suicide for so long. I honestly don't know how I have taken my own life yet."

"Marinette." Adrien breathes. He turns his head, and buries his face in my hair, taking big breaths and sighs. "I'm so sorry all of this happened. I'm so sorry, but I promise everything really will be okay, just please let me help you. There's no need to cut, or think of suicide. Let me give you all of the love I have. Let me help you."

"Adrien. How can you help me when you have no idea what I've been through. You don't know what it's like to cut. I used to wonder what it's like to cut. Sometimes I would wonder what it would feel like if I would want to find out. And now that I have cut I know exactly how it feels. So this is how I would describe cutting; go to the beach and walk into the water, blindfolded. You just keep walking you don't know where you're going. You just know your going deeper. Depression has blinded you all you know if your going deeper. Now just keep going until you drown. You want air, you want relief you don't want to be drowning anymore. Now imagine the relief when someone pulls you out of the water. That's what cutting is. Relief. Relief from all the pain and hell you've been drowning in. Relief from not feeling good enough. Relief from the bullies at your school. Relief from feeling like you fat. Relief from your imperfections and insecurities. You might find cutting disgusting and you might never understand it but when your drowning and you need saving. You need relief. So what is cutting like? It's a relief. Some cut their wrist, some cut their thighs. Some cover it with sleeves and some cover it with smiles. Some prefer razors, some play with knives, but in the end their all living the pain through their lies."

"I do know what it's like to cut. I used to cut. I had the right people beside me, so please let me help you." He says while rolling up his sleeves and showing me his scars.

"Why didn't you tell me. If you had told me I would've opened up earlier."

"You wouldn't let me Mari. I've been trying to tell you. I've been trying to get you to open up, to show you that I care."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Adrien." I say, sobbing into his shoulder again repeating the words over and over again. "I'm sorry."

"It's going to be okay Mari. I'm here for you. I'll stay by your side. Trust me."

" I do. I really do. I trust you Adrien." With that all and over. We suddenly here a shrill sound. _The bell? SCHOOL! _"Oh my gosh we missed an entire day of school!" I give a slight giggle at the look on Adrien's face. He starts laughing and I laugh harder. Tears prickle my already red eyes, but this time it's not from sadness but from happiness.

"Thank you. I no longer feel so lonely. I no longer feel so broken, thanks to you Adrien."

"Anything for you Mari."

END OF PART ONE

* * *

"_I act like such a happy person, but deep down I'm not. I know people have it worse than me but I still have troubles of my own."_

_-Anonymous_

(A/N: Wow! Sorry for the short chapter, but at least I have another chapter out for you guys. Make sure to favorite, follow, and review! Love you guys. )


	9. Chapter 9

(A/N: Welcome to Part Two of the Broken Series! In this part we will learn more about how Marinette fell into depression, and her recovery. I'm thinking of only having like 5-10 chapters in this series as well, and hope that each chapter is longer than the last. The plot might be different bare with me. I may have to change some things in the first part.)

* * *

"_Smile because it confuses them, because it's easier than explaining what is killing you inside."_

_-Joker (given to me by silveristhelight)_

* * *

_When I was little, my life was a mess. I grew up thinking no one could love me. I would often cry at night. I couldn't sleep, so I threw myself into my school work. Or what little work I had. My parents would fight almost every night, one night it got worse. This was the night where they died. I was 8 at the time, my birthday was a week away. They had argued like they usually would and I would hide in my room like I usually would. But this time, I heard glass break. Like a glass vase or even a mirror. It was really loud and the sound resounded around the whole house. I heard sobbing and then all I heard was silence. Complete and utter silence. I decided to slowly make my way down stairs. What I found will never leave my mind. My dad was on the floor covered in blood and my mom, she was worse, she was covered in bruises and blood and a few broken bones that were out of place. I screamed and my neighbors came to check up on me. I was crying, and then my neighbor called the police. When the police arrived they took me out of the house and questioned me. I answered every question to the best of my ability. I was shaking. I felt so broken. Both my parents were dead. What was going to happen? Where would I be going? Would I have to go into foster care? Who would want me? But then my neighbor came into my line of view. Her red hair in a tight bun on her head, shined from the moonlight. She spoke in a calm voice and my breathing started to even out._

_With Caline and the Police (Calines POV)_

"_She's an only child. She has no other family. We have no choice but to put her into Foster Care." I heard what the police said. She's an only child, and she's only 8 maybe 9. Foster care would ruin her, but do I have the space. I look over to the little girl that's sitting in a fire truck with a cloth wrapped around her. She looks so much like Audrey, well except for the hair. I heard what those 'parents' were doing. But how long will it take her to trust me. I do have the room, I haven't had the heart to clean Audrey's room, but this girl, she would love the skylight and the balcony. _

"_Where will she go for now? Foster care takes time." I go up to the officers, and stop in front of them. My stance is firm._

"_I'll take her, this little girl should never have to go through Foster Care. I'll care for her, i'll protect her and love her." The police seemed shocked and looked at each other, one shrugged their shoulders and both shook their heads as if in agreement._

"_Saves us the paperwork, go ahead Bustier. Just make sure she's safe." With a satisfied smile I head towards the girl. I stop in front of her and give her a smile._

"_I'm Miss Bustier, what's your name?"_

"_I'm- I'm Marinette." She says timidly._

_(Back to Marinette POV)_

"_Why hello Marinette! I know it's been a rough night but I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me for the night." I nod my head yes and slowly get up. The cloth that was wrapped around me fell off and I started to shiver._

"_Here you go." The kind lady says while handing me the cloth._

"_Thank you." My voice is so soft and quiet, I doubt she could hear me, but she smiles at me and picks me up into her arms. I rest my head onto her shoulders and wrap my arms around her neck. During the short walk to her house I must have fallen asleep, all I remember was feeling safe and warm in this woman's arms. The next morning I get up out of bed. I was in an unfamiliar room and I panicked at first. Then everything from that night came rushing back. Questions came to mind but I found no answers. Why did this lady make me feel so safe? Could I stay here with her? Why did she have a spare bedroom? Did something happen? I get up and walk downstairs. I see the kind lady in the kitchen making something, I walk up to the door frame and lean on it._

"_H-Hello…" I say quietly and she turns around._

"_Good morning sleeping beauty. How did you sleep sweetheart?"_

"_I slept fine." I whisper, I'm still too scared about trusting. I've been damaged emotionally. But she just smiles and nods._

"_Breakfast is almost ready. I hope you like pancakes." I smile when the aroma of a home cooked meal has invaded my senses. _

"_I- I haven't had a home cooked meal before." I say a little more confident this time._

"_Well! You're about to." I smile as she sets down a plate of 2 pancakes, eggs and 1 sausage link. I breath in a deep breathe and start eating right away. After some time I finish and drink a glass of milk that's at the corner of my plate._

"_Thank you."_

"_It's not a problem."_

"_Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask. Her smile fades a little. _

"_You remind me of my daughter, except for the hair. She was always so strong and she was adorable just like you with the freckles, blue eyes, all of it. She died when she was 7. I'll never forget that day. My husband was driving the car, Audrey in the back seat. When a semi couldn't stop and they died on impact. It's okay though. I've moved on. Marinette, would you like to stay with me for a while. I'm a teacher at the school next door. I can homeschool you and then you can go to school when your ready." I take a moment to process what she just said._

"_You, you want me to stay with you. I'm not going into foster care?"_

"_Foster care is a horrible system full of bad people, I don't ever want you to go through what I had to. I was in foster care at your age. I was used and abused. I'll never let you go through that." I start crying, but for once I'm happy. I'm really truly happy!_

"_Yes please. I would love to stay with you uh-"_

"_Caline. My name is Caline Bustier."_

"_Hi, my name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I am 8 years old. My birthday is in 6 days, so I'll be 9 by then." _

"_That's great Marinette! Later today we will go shopping for some clothes, but for now you can use one of my shirts as a dress. Do you like your room?"_

"_I love it! And thank you for everything you've done!"_

* * *

"_Being happy takes time, so don't worry, everything will be alright."_

_-Carly_

(A/N: Make sure to favorite, follow, and review! Love you guys. )


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N: Hey guys, sorry I know it's been a while… hehe anyways ummm so like hows life everyone! I am in a relationship, yay me!!! So yeah, I'm sure none of you want to hear me rant about how life has been, sooooo on with the story!!)

* * *

"When I'm holding myself together, it's because I'm trying to find the strength to love myself."

Me to my girlfriend

* * *

Marinette woke up with a start, she was panting and crying. That dream… again. Ever since that night, I have the dreams. It reminds me of how much my parents didn't really care about me. I love my mom, she officially adopted me when I was 10. I was so happy! I kept my last name tho, as a reminder of who I am. It's hard without my real parents but from what I remember they weren't real parents. Today is my birthday, I'm 16. Today just so happens to be the first day of school. I promised mom I would try again when I was 16. Gosh, its so scary. When I was 10 I started school again, but it didn't really work out. I got made fun of and bullied on the first day, I didn't go back. I did homeschooling. Mom thinks it will be good for me, she even said if I needed I can come to her for anything. With my mom working at the school, I have to be there when she gets there, (but she let me go after her so I could get more sleep today). So I'm never late, if I had a choice I would be sleeping in everyday. Instead I get up at 6:15. I get out of bed and decide to dress up a little today. I wear a black sweet heart neckline dress. It goes just below my knees. I wear black tights and my usual black sneakers. Don't expect too much out of me. I quickly brush my teeth and leave my hair down, running my fingers through the soft curls. I look in the mirror and frown, I look so great… yet I don't feel great. I look at my face, studying it. I then add a touch of mascara and winged eyeliner. I look in the mirror again and smile. Even if I don't feel great I have to smile and keep going. I quickly grab my bag and run down the stairs. I lock the door since I'm the last one out, after I grab an apple from the fruit basket. I take a deep breath and being my short walk to school. You can do this Mare. It's just a few steps and mom will be there. With these thoughts I smile. As school comes closer and closer, my anxiety becomes higher and higher. I stop at the steps and take a deep breath. My first class is with my mom, so I should be fine. I run up the steps and quickly find the way to my moms classroom. As I walk in I can feel my anxiety slowly becoming less and less. Then I see my moms smile and I can't help but smile back.

"Good morning mom."

" Good morning dear, how did you sleep?"

"I slept okay , I'm just really nervous. I don't want what happened last time I went to school,to happen again"

"I understand baby, but just try for this week. If you don't like it then we can go back to homeschooling."

"Mom you know I don't want to stress you out with having me homeschooled, so I'll try."

"Thanks baby." Shen smiled.

"No problem mom." I say as I walk to my desk and sit down. Soon the students started to walk in. I recognize most of them, but there are two new people this year. First comes Kim, Alex, and Max. After them comes Rose, Juleka, Ivan, and Mylene. Then comes Chloe and Sabrina, last but not least Nino with two new people. They all looked at me and gasped.

"Mare your back!" I gave a forced laugh.

"Haha yeah I am, not sure for how long."

"Well you're trying again at least."

" Yeah I promised my mom that I would." Nobody knew that Caline Bustier was my adoptive mother, I always simply called her mom. Growing up she would tell me stories and she helped me get through my pain, but I could never forget the face of my parents. I ended up falling deep into depression and cutting myself. I still do. It's hard to stop once you've started. I have really bad PTSD because of what happened. Caline tried to help me but nothing would do. So I'm stuck with it. My mom clapped and got the attention of the class.

"Alright students now, we have two new students joining us today, would you like to come and introduce yourselves?"

Both the kids stood up with kind smiles and faced the class.

"My name is Alya."

"I'm Adrien." They said with littles waves.

"Alright Alya you can sit by Marinette right there." She said pointing to me. "And Adrien you can sit by Nino in the front row." The blonde boy moved to sit in front of me. I rested my head into my hand and looked at my mom.

"Okay, please open up your books to page…"

Bringggggg

The bell rang, waking up the class from what we were doing. It's the end of the school day and I got up from my seat. I packed my bag and left the classroom. It had been a long day, but I think I'll give real school a try. For mom. Alya, the girl I sat with for the day, was really nice and talkative. I think I made we are now friends. I'm not sure, I don't do well with other people, but for some reason people really love me. I don't understand why, I don't even love me. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turn around. I see Nino and the two new students.

"Hey Nino, Alya and Adrien."

"Hey." They reply back.

"What's up guys?"

"We were wondering, if we could come over and work on the math homework together." Nino responded to my question.

"Umm I'd have to ask my mom, but I'm sure she would say yes." I say with a small smile. I quickly text my mom, and she says it's fine. "Alright she said it was okay."

"Perfect so lead the way Mare."

"Okay, I live right next to school so." I decide to tell them that Caline is my mom. I feel like I can trust these people.

"Umm also my mom is home and it might be kinda a surprise as to who my mom is, she is my adoptive mother."

"What happened to your real parents?" Alya asks.

"They left when I was young. I've been with my adoptive mother for… 8 or 9 years now, I think."

"Wow that's a long time."

"Yeah when I was younger I tried to go to normal school instead of being homeschooled, because it was too much stress for her, but something really bad happened."

"What happened?" Adrien asked, finally speaking.

"Let's wait to tell that story after we get to my house." I say and quickly realize that I stopped walking, while I was in the middle of talking. I lead them to the front door and open it.

"Mom I'm home!" I call out to the silence.

"I'm in the reading room." I very familiar voice said. I smile and instruct my friends to set their stuff by the door. I quickly head to the reading room and give Caline a hug. Everyone turns the corner.

"Dude… our teacher is your mom?!" Nino exclaims.

"Haha yeah she is. She adopted me to keep me out of the foster care system."

"Wow." All three seem surprised.

"Anyways let's get some snack and head upstairs to my room."

* * *

"At a young age I always hated myself because I blamed myself for everything. It took me 16 years to learn that life is full of pain and the only way to get over it is to let the pain out."

-Me to my girlfriend

(A/N: Make sure to favorite, follow, and review! Love you guys. I know… I know. It's been a while, but at least this one is longer. I could keep going but I thought that maybe the next one will be longer and I have more ideas that would just run on and on if I kept it all in one chapter. )


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